Monday, April 30, 2012

Wake Me When It's 2013

Stop the Roller Coaster of life, I want to get off for awhile. I need a break, I need a nap!

I will tell ya since 1-1-12 it has been one thing after another after another. It's to the point we accept it we move on, and hope we can duck before the next thing hits, but we forget to duck and we are facing more crap. A lot of the crap you don't see coming, or you know about it, but its not on your radar because it's not in our everyday lives. And our lives today is about hanging on and hoping we make it through each and every day.

So last December, my in laws had their 50th wedding anniversary, they had a big party and they did it mid-December. Even through their Anniversary is after Christmas. I and two of the boys could not go, I was dying with the flu. So there was lots of family there I had never meet and guess what? I still have not meet.

Any who the day of their real Anniversary, my father in law falls and breaks his knee, has to go in for surgery. But sent him home until the day of the surgery. Well he fell again, back to the hospital and they kept him until the surgery. Then off to rehab. The rehab place was a joke. So he left and went home. Where they were doing OK for a few days, and then an ice storm hits and he fell again and broke his hip. So back to the hospital where they keep him until hip surgery. Then they sent him to a different rehab center. Things were much better this time. They have real nurses and a cook staff. So weeks go by and father in law is doing OK but not getting better as fast as they would like. End of March it was decided since the knee was not healing and now infected they would remove the leg. So surgery was scheduled and done on a Saturday.

Hubby and sister in law was there. Sister in law came down and was going to stay a few days with mom in law. Well a good thing she did. Mom in law that following Monday came down with pneumonia and we nearly lost her. She went down hill so very fast. She was put on a vent and they knocked her out for awhile because she was fighting them, saying I'm not sick. Yeah she was, we nearly lost her. Actually didn't know for a few days if she would pull through.

So now we have two in laws in the hospital. Well mom in law pulls through and father in law decides since there is a bed open at the rehab place they like, he will go first. Mom in law waited a few days and once a bed opened up for her, she sprinted over. I kid ya not this lady you can't keep her down.

So now we have two in laws in the rehab center, different rooms. Mom in law was on heavy oxygen, but now off and now off the walker and driving the nurses batty. And they are ready to send father in law home as well. So come this Thursday, it will be the big day. They are both going home. There are nurses that will be coming in twice a day to help for awhile. Which is very nice. Mom in law can direct the schedule as she things they need help or not. Mom in law is probably about 85-90%. She is doing good. Father in law may always need help. But they are going home and that is big news.

The other news is Hubby throw out his back the other day and so I get to help with the big move. Lucky me. Sister in law really hasn't spoken to me in four years, she can't understand why I would take food away from my Celiac Son? So this whole thing has been a hoot. She won't talk to me, but I get snide remarks. Seriously. Grow up all ready!

But you see this is just one of the many things going on in my world. Because we are spending so much in gas coming and going with the in laws, and we must get their mail daily and take it to them. And they live 30 minutes from us, 20 minutes to the rehab and back again. It's a lot of gas money out of our pocket. I have a budget of 120 a week in gas. We are hitting the 200 a week mark. We have lost a lot over this. Our Internet, TV, and we are waiting for our garbage cans to be picked up. But I pulled the kids out of school for awhile to stop the bleeding and to save our energy bill. It semi worked as we paid half of the bill. We can pay the other half this week.

But in being home I have actually liked it. And so have the boys. I was having a what ever to school approach. I have their math and reading books here. What I have found out is Ethan wants all his school work in one day, he likes to do a weeks worth in one day. Which is OK as long as he is doing everything right. Tucker on the other hand, early in the morning is his game, if you hit him first thing in the morning and only do that work for the day you are good. But I'm seeing basically how homeschooling will run next year with these kids. Verses how I will plan out their curriculum. So it's been interesting.

Although I really want to get the kids back in school to finish out the year so I'm hoping to do that in a week or two. With in laws going home they may only need help once a week. Verses every single day of the week.

So we were starting to breath when we were hit again last week, and my heart sunk. I got a call from a third party, they said they were at my parents when a Real Estate agent came by to take photos for the listing. Saying the house was sold that morning the house will be listed soon, and you can stay until it is sold. After 32 years of living in the same house my parents of lost their house. I found out they have not paid their mortgage in a year in a half. Well yeah that will do it. 

My parents have not called me yet with this news. At this moment I'm given them a wee bit of time to come to me. The house has not recorded yet and it's not listed yet. To me it saddens me to no end. It pisses me off more then you can believe. See my mother has a spending addiction. She has money she will spend money. She will spend money she doesn't have. When I was raised, it was buy now pay later kind of household. Many times like when they would get their tax return money, it would be spent by the next day. And not on bills, on stuff. 

My dad has a problem also, he can't tell my mother NO. My mother won't do the budget, she can't handle the budget, so my dad does the budget. But when mom runs to the cash machine every pay day and spends money, how is one suppose to pay bills. 

The twist on this is the Mortgage was paid off for many, many, many years. For some reason they thought it was a good idea to take out a Mortgage to buy a Motor Home to do some traveling with. The twist is they might now have to live in that Motor Home. 

So I worry about the stress my father is under. I worry about my mother yelling and screaming at my father for allowing this to happen. I'm mad they didn't come to me a year ago when I could have saved the house before all of this. I'm mad that I may have to go in and take over their money. Because HEY I can tell my mother NO! 

See when I was 16 I was told I will not be going to College, you are go out and get a full time job. So I went out and got a full time job, well going to school, well doing chores, and I had to have dinner on the table at 5pm and keep the house spotless, plus at 16 I was doing their budget because mom had messed up for the final time and the bank took her checkbook and cut it in half, and they highly suggested she gets someone else to do the budget and keep numbers in order. At age 19 I was kicked out of the house, because I had a full time job, I should be OK to be on my own? 

One month later I loose that full time job. But I couldn't go home. I started couch hopping, well looking for work. I worked hard to come up with cash to pay for a couch to sleep on. During this time, My Grandmother became very sick and she was basically dumped on me. Because I wasn't working. She had four kids and none of them really cared. It was all me running out and taking care of her and running her to the doctors, and errands and cleaning her house. For a long while this kept on until she passed away. OH and then the kids showed up. All four of them there cleaning out her house packing up stuff, looking for the will. Which they finally found in the freezer. When the kids realized there was no money, they started to leave one by one. My Grandmother stuck it to my mother. She left my mother the unpaid car. 

But my Grandmother never lived a buy now, pay later life. If they didn't have the money they went without. Well except the car, but she was paying that and never missed a payment. So to me I wonder if my mother went without so much that she is making up for it during her married life? But then I sit here and think, You can't take it with you when you go? Having a house full of crap is just silly. 

We now have to go and sell everything they own so they can fit into a MotorHome. All that spending will come to a head here soon as we are having sale after sale to raise cash for them to live off of. I can't tell you how many times I have asked my mother to stop buying crap for my kids. The crap she buys just amazes me. Much of it ends up in the trash, because it's cheap dollar crap and we have a small house. I can't have a house full of crap. So after a few days they forget and I toss. 

When we are home schooling this fall. I will be teaching the boys about money. I will be explaining about saving and not buying, or only buying when you have cash only. As it is right now I do not buy the kids anything. I have a rule they must work around the house to earn money and they buy their own things. Which teaches how to save for something they want. Some of the times I can get them to put the money into savings. But other times they have to spend.

We are very open to the kids about our money and how spend it. Because there are some weeks money is so very tight that we can't afford to go to the store. Or like the last few weeks we can't afford gas to get them to school. They have been OK. We all cheer every time the van amount gets lower and we cheer every time the house expansion money grows. We try and talk to them about how you don't NEED every Lego set. You NEED a bed and food on the table. When we are at a store and they are begging MOM, I ask if it's a NEED or a WANT? It's a WANT and it has to stay at the store. Hey it's hard on mommy. I often put things back myself. When I get a few steps and realize I don't need this.

So back to my parents. I have no idea what they plan on doing. Do they have a plan? Has this hit them? Do they realize they have lost everything? I worry about my fathers health as this is a lot of stress. I worry I will have to go and get power of attorney. It's honestly the last thing I want to do. I worry about the mess they are sitting in. I more worry they expect to camp out in my driveway! But with their credit they can't rent. 

But I"m praying the talk when they are ready will go well. I don't mind doing their budget and telling my mother NO. What I do mind is them living in my driveway.

Sadly this isn't everything going on in my life. One would assume this is enough, but it's not. I have so many little things going on as well. But I will stop here. If you see me out in public and my head is spinning you now know why. If you don't see me in public it's because I could not get out of bed that day and face the day.


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